Delusions of Being in love

The delusion is haunting me. It was so vivid, so true. For quite sometime now I thought it was… Real.
- K.V.D.R.

I was in love… or so I believe. For four years I’ve been feeling the same way for a certain person. My friends asked me whether I was in love… I hesitated, and yet I answered “Yes!” but know I realized that I wasn’t in love with that person, I was in love with my delusion of him. Delusions, one of the symptoms of a person suffering from a mental disorder; however in my case, I am not suffering from any of this psychological ailment. Dr. Fishner once said in her article that there are several neurotransmitters that are responsible for love. One of this is dopamine, which increases when you are in love. Over production of this neurotransmitter is also one of the possible reasons behind schizophrenia, although this is still a theory up until now. So what is this feeling that I feel? Love has 3 stages. The first 2 could still be associated with infatuation, however the 3rd could really be categorize as the true love stage. In the second stage which is Attraction, dopamine and serotonin played a very important role. According to Dr. Fishner, in this stage the person seems to increase his/her dopamine and decreases serotonin, but of course in a manageable level. This might be the reason why my frontal cortex and the limbic system seem to comprehend that I was in love.

I was able to bond with him again lately, and to my surprise the feeling was different. Whenever I am with him, it was as if I am just with an ordinary person. However, whenever I’m not with him I tend feel butterflies and certain things that is caused by epinephrine or other neurotransmitters affecting the emotions. So what does this means? After several hours, days, and weeks of thinking, I finally inferred that, it wasn’t him that I love; it was the idea of him that I created inside my head. My delusion of him!

This may sound absurd but it is the real case. I don’t have enough knowledge about this matter to be able to fully understand the situation. But as for know I am sure that I am not in love with anybody.